Crossroads

I am at a junction, and it’s really quite exciting.

For many many years, I have toyed with the idea of writing ‘something’ – we’re talking something major here – like a novel or something.

Every time I try to write though, I am my own worst critic — it goes excruciatingly slowly. A sentence can take a week to get right, and then when the paragraph is finished, I read the first sentence again and just about make myself vomit. It all just sounds like teenage girl angst drivel to me.

I think I am cursed with having a Master’s in English. I will just never be Hemingway or Anita Shreve.

So, for the last year or so, I have been taking more and more photos – especially thanks to my Flickr and other Meta friends. And I have been getting more and more encouraged by what I see.

So, here is the crossroads where I make a turn and head down the road towards a new project.

I will create with photography instead. I have big plans for a project, but I have things to do before I can start working on it for real. First of all, I need to learn more about this form of expression. I don’t know how to use the tool: the camera. So, I have enrolled in a digital photography course online — it’s only very simple, but I hope it will help me understand the mechanics of this craft better. And then, if I am a good girl, and complete this course, I will get myself a ‘real’ camera, and learn to use IT.

And then I will begin creating.

I’m excited. And scared of failing – scared of being my own worst critic and paralyzing myself again. But writing here that I’m doing it will help me keep going – it’s out there now!